I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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