Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of

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(850): ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of http://tfl.nu/f0gq

Replies (5) Good night (509) Bad night (2456) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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(214): I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed. http://tfl.nu/5k49

Replies (20) Good night (6662) Bad night (1078)
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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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(206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc

Replies (14) Good night (3539) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

So you threw a sword at me last night

(419): View more from Ohio

I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.

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(440): So you threw a sword at me last night (419): I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised. http://tfl.nu/6fwc

Replies (11) Good night (5550) Bad night (900)
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(806): View more from Texas

And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...

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(806): And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice... http://tfl.nu/3gqd

Replies (16) Good night (2752) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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(904): naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea. http://tfl.nu/s2fg

Replies (9) Good night (2564) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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(513): This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping. http://tfl.nu/j81d

Replies (5) Good night (3307) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity

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(215): Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity http://tfl.nu/eokb

Replies (5) Good night (1800) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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(260): View more from Indiana

ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.

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(260): ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me. http://tfl.nu/9s81

Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

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(203): She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE. http://tfl.nu/wm9f

Replies (25) Good night (3712) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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(724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS http://tfl.nu/ftff

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex

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(808): Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex http://tfl.nu/i4z0

Replies (13) Good night (498) Bad night (2950) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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(512): I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/ch97

Replies (6) Good night (1478) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z

Replies (5) Good night (1150) Bad night (313)
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(438): View more from Quebec

I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

(1-438): View more from Quebec

God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

(438): View more from Quebec

Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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(438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35

Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (76)

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