Pappa wants mamma naked
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.