i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.