1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
actually, I'm a sock model
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
