Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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