i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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