Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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