Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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