used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
