Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
