You made me cry and you don't even care
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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