my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
