I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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