i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
