She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
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There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
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So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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