I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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