Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just cut my nipple shaving
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
