Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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