you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
