The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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