I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
