She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
