I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
