are you so shy because you have an std?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
