i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize