Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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