You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
