If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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