yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You smell like stripper and shame
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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