; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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