I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
