At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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