i permit you to call me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm always down for nudity.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
