tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
