Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
