At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
