i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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