problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
