u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
