so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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