We're facebook friends in real life
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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