And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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