So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
