Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
