yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
