so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
