Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
