my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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