And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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