return my video game
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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