New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
