i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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