I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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