I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
its liver damage thursday
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
