he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
