ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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