Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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