i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
