True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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