please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
