We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
