I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
