Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
