I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
if only i could text you this smell
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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