Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i think i just lost a toe
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
